i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
