I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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