I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he thought i was a dude.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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