I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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