I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
