I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
