We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
