I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
