You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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