STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
