oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
