when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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