maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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