The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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