My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How external is "for external use only"?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
