it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
