We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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