So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
