I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
