Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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