Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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