Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You're so nebulous sometimes
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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