Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize