I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
