After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
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Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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