Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
