You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
