god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
