It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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