so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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