My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
