All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I am naked and annoyed.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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