I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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