I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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