It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
