i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize