Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i think my cat just said my name.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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