i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
