guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
