we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
