She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
