He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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