I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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