i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.