erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
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She needs sedatives and a leash
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.