I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.