sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
