we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
