all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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