Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
