I am in a vortex of obligation.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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