We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
