He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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