Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
