so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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