Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize