So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
