when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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