I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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