So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
