I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
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I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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