K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
